My nai nai passed away, albeit peacefully and quietly in her sleep, in her own bed, surrounded by her loved ones, on a peaceful, cold and bright Wednesday morning last week leaving behind her four grown children, eight grandchildren, and nine great grandchildren.
She was a lively and scrappy woman, an intriguing and erratic mix of gumption and guts and at times a shocking temper, contrasting with thoughtfulness, insecurity and fragility.
She was the driving force and reason for her entire family emigrating to the U.S. (and thus by extension all of us being Americans, and the trajectory of our lives and our childrens' lives) as well as at times their main source of financial and emotional support. She barely reached 5 feet in stature (and steadily less as she aged), drank cognac, and chain smoked until her later years, when circumstances forced her to stop.
Due to incredible hardship (war, revolution, potential famine) she was denied much of a formal education, pushed out of a relatively comfortable and affluent life as the sole and precious daughter, and married at a tender age to a soldier who held the tenuous promise of being able to whisk her away to better circumstances.
I will never forget her stories of how she used landmarks to navigate a strange world where she didn't know the language when she first arrived in New York, or how she landed a job as a housekeeper for a family in the very town we would eventually (after many years of toiling to achieve upward mobility) end up living.
We share a few traits and among them the love for travel was probably the most salient. I'm grateful we got the chance to have a family trip to Hawaii together before I moved out to Asia and her health deteriorated. When I was younger nai nai would dream for me, teasing she looked forward to the day I would be whisked to Paris for lunch and then Japan for dinner. I can't say my life is that jet-set, but I certainly have and will continue to carry a piece of her with me to all the corners of the globe that I venture.
Hers was a life well lived and I know my family, especially my parents, have no regrets. I love you nai nai. Thank you for all of your gifts of candy and fruit and red envelopes over the years, and all the fascinating stories that I heard while perched near your elbow or knee.
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