Saturday, January 23, 2021

A Post So Overdue

Hi blog, I've missed you.  I don't know how it happened that it's been two weeks since my last post and months since my last meaningful update.  It's hard to get all my pictures uploaded and sorted and to remember all the good things I want to say.  I'm generally pretty exhausted by the time evening rolls around so it seems to take extra effort to sit down and get stuff down.  By the time I wade through whatever work emails I have to wrap up, any calls I need to be on, any household admin matters I need to address, all I want to do is crawl into bed or else shut my mind off and escape into a novel or a show.  I've recently worked my way through all three seasons of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which certainly has its faults but I thoroughly enjoyed it.  (So, wait, actually, I do know how it's happened that this blog has fallen silent!)  It's the first show that I've binge watched in years. Today, though, I took a nap from 9 to 10:30 while I was waiting for comments to come in on work matters, and now I'm up at 1 am fully refreshed, bright eyed and bushy tailed.  Whoops?  Except now you get me, my fully focused, temporarily energized me.

Hong Kong is still in social-distancing mode so we don't get to participate in the many things we miss, like going to the soft play areas or playgrounds hosted by the Hong Kong leisure and culture department, the library, the museums...and we are so burned out on going to all the same places within a couple-miles radius: Maggie and Rose, the race course, Sun Yat Sen Park, Victoria Park, Wan Chai Gap Park, the American Club.  But the kids still have a lot of fun and for that I'm so grateful.  We get to live a pretty privileged life here and we really should not forget that.  

Let's proceed on updates for the members of our household in alphabetical order:

Al used to have the very cranky and grumpy disposition, but in recent months he's softened out around the edges somewhat.  He still can throw epic temper tantrums, and lately his loudest complaining (they are not words, but you can tell without a doubt he is complaining) is around food.  Since we have stopped mashing and pureeing his food, he shouts and cries and complains nonstop during mealtimes and is basically on a vegetable and fruit strike.  Give the boy bread or crackers, or give him death!  And he loves, loves, loves drinking water.  He is also the first to break into the biggest, most genuine, face splitting smile when anyone is around.  Al is pretty indifferent as to who holds him, as long as he is getting attention and is not abandoned.  When you're holding his stocky little body close and hearing him gurgle and chatter, with his big eyes and rosy cheeks and grin, it's hard not to succumb to his charm. When you hold him, he will nearly sing with happiness, and he pats your shoulders with both hands in the most rewarding and fulfilling of ways.  Of our three munchkins, he is the one who most unreservedly gives affection to Michael.  Al is very vocal and often sounds like he is trying to speak.  None of it is words, but the cadence and the intonation very much sounds like a conversation.  It's amazing how expressive he can be without any comprehensible language!  Al used to be very sedentary and afraid to move or shift into crawling, but we have taken him to a physical therapist a few times and after addressing tight spots in his back, he is much more active and shows significant signs of improvement.  He will crawl pretty quickly, pull himself up often, and is actually a more enthusiastic user of the walker than Teo.  He also likes to push his car around the apartment.  Al is also very, very strong.  Finally, Al really enjoys reading books.  He will sit quietly just perusing and flipping books, in his crib, sitting on the playmat, or in the car, and can keep himself entertained this way for a surprisingly long time.

On to me.  All things about the same here, nothing too exciting.  Another reason I have had no time to blog is because I have, without consciously setting a new years resolution or anything, decided to attack our finances and budgets.  We got too busy last year and probably the year before as well to really set a budget and focus on how much money we were spending versus saving.  I have finally succumbed to the data/information war and fully entered all of our information into an online money manager. We're doing well, but we really need to be much more aware of our finances.  I have always avoided it through procrastination or denial, and given Michael and I are more time starved than ever before, it is easier than ever to lose sight of our spending or earning.  My last couple of weeks have been quite busy finding and speaking to financial advisors, wealth managers and tax advisors.  My overall general conclusion is that most financial advisors are hacks.  Sorry if that's too cynical.

Lola continues to Zoom every day, an English session from 9 to 9:50 am (with a 10 minute break usually 20 minutes in), and then a Chinese session from 10 to 10:50 am (with a 10 minute break usually 20 minutes in).  Her temper tantrums have gotten more infrequent recently, in part because I have gotten better at planning ahead and always preparing her or telling her about my whereabouts and plans, and in part because, as sad as it is, I've come to terms with the fact that, working from home mandates be damned, I cannot be around Lola as much as I would like.  If I am around her, I need to give her my complete and full attention.  And if she is tired, cranky or grumpy, then my being around triggers her more. If I'm working, playing with the brothers, or multitasking, this upsets her equilibrium and ultimately creates a lot more work and stress for everyone in our household (in the form of managing Lola) if I am present.  However, Lola continues to be so specific and demanding about what she wants, and how she wants it - and she takes after her father in how grumpy she is when she wakes up - that it can be very frustrating and tough on the household.  Often Lola incites her brothers to crying because of her temper tantrum, and we have three (sometimes only two, but sometimes all three) screaming, crying, wailing babies.  Loud, loud babies.  We've enrolled Lola in a French class once a week because she has shown such an aptitude for languages.  I intend to increase this to three times a week after the Chinese New Year holidays.  We watch Caillou, a French Canadian TV show, after dinner and Lola has already picked up some simple French phrases.  She continues to speak and sing in Tagalong, English and Mandarin with ease.  Lola asks about skiing, ice skating and her ballet class every so often, but unfortunately all of those will have to resume after the pandemic.  Lola's memory continues to astound and amaze - she remembers things from months and months ago, and she'll ask me sometimes in conversation if I remember "that one time" we did something.  She is now occasionally skipping her afternoon nap (she says it's her "last day off"), and her bedtime routines have stretched more and more elaborately as time goes on.  

There's also not much to update on Michael.  He continues to work incredibly hard and long hours.  He has done phenomenally well at work and last year and this year is a huge testament to his intelligence, conscientiousness and work ethic.  It has not been an easy time for him and I know he is really hankering to travel and to return to the U.S. to work for a while.  The man really needs a break.

And then, last but not least, Teo.  Teo used to be the super easy going, quiet baby, and I still think he is somewhat, but he's gotten more vocal in his opinions as of late.  He has become significantly attached to Auntie Lyn, to the point where he will cry as soon as she leaves, or gurgle and laugh when she returns.  He follows her with his eyes and he gets very upset if she picks up Al.  There are times when he will crawl directly to her and whine, clearly communicating his displeasure that she is focused on someone or something other than him.  He has not responded very well to Michael, either - at bedtime he will do everything possible to avoid being held by his dad, including turning away or blocking, and when that doesn't work and he cannot avoid being kissed, wiping away the kiss vigorously, or, all else failing, just sobbing inconsolably.  Teo loves eating and has adjusted well to solid foods.  He always eats fruit first, enjoys soup, and all kinds of fruits and vegetables, meats and fish, and a variety of flavors.  The only thing he doesn't really enjoy is drinking water.  (Funny how opposite the boys are in their taste buds and food preferences.) Teo loves playing with water and bathing, and he also enjoys painting/messy play.  Teo is more active and likes activities and movement.  He loves bouncing and jumping, and climbing too.  He still enjoys books somewhat but probably more for tossing over his shoulder or pulling off the bookshelf, than for the actual stories or pictures.  I always feel bad for Teo when it comes to playtime because he is content and happy with whatever toy he chooses, but without a doubt his brother will come over and try to crawl all over him/pull/snatch away his toy.  It's gotten to the point where Teo will start whining or crying as soon as he sees Al come near.  Unfortunately, while both boys are very strong, Al still overpowers Teo in terms of brute strength.  Teo is the observant and sensitive one.  He seems quite astute and will clearly say "ma ma" when addressing me.  The aunties also told me that Teo spotted someone who looked similar to me at Maggie and Rose one day, and Teo crawled after her shouting "ma ma" repeatedly, and crying when she wouldn't pick him up.  I would argue Teo is harder to please or win over, but when you do, his laugh is so infectious and contagious, and the love and devotion so concentrated, that it's hard not to succumb to his charm.

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

New Year Intentions

 I don't usually make new year resolutions because it feels too daunting and any study of habits and humans and sloth will show you that resolutions are very hard to keep and a new year really has no impact, except probably to make you feel extra discouraged when you fail your resolution on, say, the second day of the new year.  

 But I did read one of those inspirational articles a while back that said it might be better to set an intention for your year, like how you set an intention at the beginning of your yoga practice.  It feels more spiritual and less strict, doesn't it?  Not sure how far it will take me.  

But actually all of the above is moot because I haven't made a new year resolution OR set a new year intention.  I've just finally started tackling something that I procrastinate and avoid like crazy, and have always avoided my whole life. And I started tackling it last month, when we were still in 2020.

I've finally done (and am still in process of doing) a deep dive into our finances.  I am also, for the first time, really thinking about setting a budget.  But in order to set a budget I have to know our spending habits and trends.  I know, this sounds absolutely nuts that I do not have a firmer grasp on all of this.  How does one manage a household or feel clear or calm about one's finances if one doesn't actually have a blueprint, a budget, or even a clear allocation of sources and uses?

Friday, January 8, 2021

Ringing in the New Year

Happy new year!   While we have done nothing more than cross an artificial border as trivial as the tearing of a calendar page, 2021 feels like it contains lots of hope and promise, right?  Everyone yearns for, nay, needs, this physical bright line separation of "before" and "after."  Except as recent events in the U.S. show, we are still living in a surreal world where things happen that we would never have imagined possible only a short while ago.

First, here are some pictures from the last days of 2020.  Chatting with popo and yeye...
The boys checking out their new books (there were many), from their birthday...
Playing with water during Mandarin playgroup...
We went to the Sculpture Park at K11 Musea the day before New Years Eve.  It was much colder/windier by the water than expected, so we ran indoors quickly.  I lent Lola my hat, which I had borrowed without asking from Michael.
Teo was just very happy (and intrigued?) to have the presence of his esteemed older sister next to him.  To what did he owe the honor?!
The Sculpture Park is tiny, but I appreciate its sentiment and the environment for creativity and expression that it is trying to foster.  Hong Kong is sorely lacking in these places.  Here, Lola in front of a fun sculpture which we interpreted was a huge octopus.  She quite enjoyed it.
After their snack, the boys wanted to check things out.  We braved the wind tunnel of the sculpture park and headed out in the tandem stroller.  Teo and Al chirped nonstop. They love being outdoors.  The space is surprisingly accessible, including these loooooong ramps that allow for strollers and wheelchairs, which the kids also greatly enjoyed.
   
New Years Eve was pretty quiet in our household, marked by nothing more than a quick late night walk on Bowen Road by Michael and me, marveling at how long we have been in the city and reflecting on the past year and all the changes and challenges that it brought.  New Years Day dawned sunny and bright, and we had a little playdate in our apartment for the kids.
And now for the new year.  Seven days into the new year, and not much has changed in our household.  

The boys had vaccinations on the 4th and measured at 10.96 kg (Al) and 10.45 kg (Teo), respectively.  They are in the 90th percentile for height, weight and head circumference - so top of the marks across the board.  The doctor confirmed they are all on track, meeting milestones, making good eye contact, which was reassuring because we were a little bit worried.  I think this is inevitable; we only have our one previous experience of Lola, and while we suspected she was a bit extraordinary, it is only as time goes on and we have more points of data that we are discovering what a gifted and precocious child she is.  

Teo and Al are much more mobile now and getting fast.  They love to pull themselves up and experiment with slowly lowering themselves down (one of the most adorable things because they sink their tushies down so, so, so cautiously).  They like to climb.  They love standing in their cribs and bouncing up and down, Teo especially.  They both love trucks and cars and anything with wheels or anything that spins (so many fights over the beaded mazes, the rainbow abacus, the ride on cars, and the ice cream/fire trucks...).  They often spend a good half hour before their naps "chatting" to each other, whether in a high pitched or measured conversational call and response.  They were sleep trained for a while but now are regressing/often need a little bit of reassurance before they'll go down.  

While Al clearly enjoys food, Teo is the one that seems to enjoy a wider variety of tastes and flavors, including sour things.  And Al does not like sour things and his palate tends more toward sweetness and carbs.  Teo enjoys fruit and soup while Al just frowns ferociously.  It used to be that Teo crawled and climbed and Al sat, but now it's not always the case.  Al has some bad habits where he will try to knock his brother's hands out of the way/off the toy, or bite Teo to protect his territory, and unfortunately Teo has now picked up these bad habits in defense.  Teo will start whining and protesting as soon as he sees Al come near him, probably anticipating that his brother is coming after his toy/book/object (really doesn't seem to matter what it is).  Tonight I evidenced what could only be described as Teo pushing his head into Al's ribs to try to get him out of the way...alas.  There is a lot of brotherly love around these parts.

The kids (surprise surprise) went to Maggie and Rose, went on an invigorating hike on Bowen Road, played in our parking garage (yes, you read that right), visited Hong Kong park to see the turtles and fish, and went on a nice walk on Lugard Road (followed by watching a beautiful sunset from the Peak while the boys ate their supper and Lola and I browsed the candy shop).

The kids also played/crawled around our parking garage (converted into a general play space??) for a while.  I mentioned it in my previous post - it's become a second playroom of ours, of sorts.  Hong Kong... sometimes, the lack of space just causes you to shake your head.



The weather has gotten colder and being on the Peak or by the waterfront definitely requires a jacket or hat.  The trip to the Peak was super thrilling for Lola because she got to buy a purple and white striped star lollipop.



The boys are like real kids now, gosh!  I've embarked on a 2-3 month campaign to get them off of formula (onto cows' milk) and to quit their bottle (and onto straw bottles and cups), and to eat their food rather than pureeing or mashing it.  This series of changes has already met with a lot of vocal complaints, especially from Al, who can be a really grumpy old man at times, and incidentally swallows his food whole.  

How cute are they here though?  They look so serious as they suck down their water and play with/eat their sweet potato cubes.
This is my view working from home - not a bad one, admittedly.  I now have two big green plants right next to me and I bought another desk on Taobao (larger and for a quarter of the price I paid in Hong Kong, doh), so I finally feel comfortable in my work area and vastly prefer it to hunching over the dining room table.
Sometimes I am joined by this adorable little munchkin, who has all kinds of ideas and suggestions and is not at all conducive to my work productivity.