I have been meaning to write this update on Lola for a while now. She turned 2.5 this June 1 and is such a dynamic, sweet, smart and challenging little kid. She speaks like an adult and her negotiating skills are incredibly impressive. There has never been an activity that she did not have her own opinion about, and it is very hard to get her to change her mind. In short, she is a handful.
Lola has sprouted an inch and a half in the past two months and is full of energy. She still hates sleeping with a passion and this probably more than anything is what causes our entire household an indescribable amount of pain. I shudder to think about how many hours of my life I have wasted shutting my eyes pretending to be asleep while firmly trying to cajole Lola to go to bed herself. It is an astronomical number too high to ponder.
Lola has become very, very attached to me during these last few months of my maternity leave and frequently requests to do things with mommy, and "only" mommy. This has made it very hard for me to spend as much time with Al and Teo as I would have liked. Sometimes Lola tests me in what feels like every way, and makes me feel like a failure for my inability to draw boundaries/remain unemotional/be attentive and patient. I look at her 2 year old stuff and shudder to consider what life with Lola the teenager will be like!
But then there are cuddly, sweet moments, like when I am playing with her when she asks me to pick her up "so high" and hold her tight, and she says, "I love you so much mommy," or when she is nestled into my side while I am putting her to sleep at night, and she smiles with barely-contained glee and exhales a sigh of such contentment and pleasure, that my heart feels like it will burst.
Play on Words
Lola is so clever, witty and fun. She often plays with words, mixing similarly-sounding words or deliberately misstating phrases, so that she can have a good cackle about it. For example, she knows one of my favorite fruits/flavors is passion fruit, or "bai xiang guo" or (hundred fragrant fruit) in Chinese. But she also knows that her brothers drink milk. So the other day she joked that the brothers would have "nai xiang guo" flavor - deliberately substituting "bai" with the same tone "nai" (for milk). Another play on words that she loves is "gu puo," which is what she calls my aunt. She riffed on the "gu" by adding "xiang" in front of it, which changes it to "mushroom lady". It's hard to fully explain the cleverness of these turns of phrases unless you speak Mandarin, but trust me when I say that they're sophisticated.
Gentle and Sweet... But with a Dash of the Macabre
Despite how strong Lola's personality seems when it comes to her decisiveness and the volatility of her temper tantrums, she is the sweetest and gentlest little girl. When tapping the drums in her music class, she always uses a very light touch. And when she touches her brothers, whether it is grabbing their hands, or patting their cheeks or heads, she does it with a feather light touch. She is also (in her words) "a little bit shy" in public. She is just so incredibly sweet. However, Lola loves giving people shots from her doctor's kit, and she was obsessed with the fact that I had to go to the dentist to get my tooth pulled, making a whole playdate out of the dentist office's playroom. She practically cackles with glee when it comes time for others (never herself of course) to be administered medicine or any kind of physical pain or scary treatment!
Miss Accessories
Lola is more of a girly-girl than we encouraged. We certainly don't mind that she loves pretty dresses, or her ballet costumes, but we also really try not to buy pink, Disney princesses, makeup or baby dolls. But somehow we have ended up with a toddler who loves her qi pao, wants to get her nails painted (I don't even know how she grasped that concept so quickly; she saw a toy nail polish bottle made out of wood in a toy store and immediately asked if she could apply color to her nails), and requires, even when playing, at least two bags, sunglasses, a belt and multiple hairbands stacked up and down her body to "go out". It's hard to feel too concerned about all this though, because I get a huge kick out of her love of accessories.
An Excuse for Every Occasion
With my parents here for so long, Lola has gotten really used to having her grandparents around. It's one of their routines now for Lola and her yeye to tease each other. He will ask if he can drink her water, or wear her clothes, or have some of what she is eating. And without fail, she will come up with a very fitting excuse - the water is too cold for him to drink, her clothes are too small for him, the food is too hard for him. He often asks if he can come along on her adventure, and she will shut him down quickly by saying, "no, only mommy!" When he asks why, that's when the innumerable excuses come out. For example, on swimming: he hasn't finished eating yet; he doesn't have a swimsuit; Lola's swimsuits are too small. If it's upon our return from someplace, she will shut it down with: "We already went! Next time!"
Role Reversal
Lola loves to play. In fact, almost all of her temper tantrums probably fall into two camps: (1) when she is playing and does not want to sleep/change clothes/brush her teeth/leave home, or (2) when she doesn't want to leave me or do something without me. A lot of her play is focused on imaginative make-believe, playing with her little animals or friends. Recently another of her favorite ways to play is to have the adult be Lola, and she in turn be that person (mommy, auntie, yeye, etc). This has been such a fun and delightful exercise. She mimics our behaviors and attitudes so perfectly. It also really shines a mirror on our tone and behaviors that is so enlightening.
Case in point, when Lola acts as mommy and mommy acts as Lola, our conversations play out like this:
Lola: Mommy, can I play with you?
Mommy: No, I need to work!
Lola: But I really want to play with you. Don't go to work!
Mommy: I am very busy. I will play with you when I come home.
or where Lola acts as auntie and auntie acts as Lola:
Lola: Auntie, can I play with you?
Auntie: Not now, I am dusting!
Lola: Why do you have to dust?
Auntie: It is so dirty! I need to clean.
Lola: I want to play with you.
Auntie: No, it is time to sleep!
Lola has sprouted an inch and a half in the past two months and is full of energy. She still hates sleeping with a passion and this probably more than anything is what causes our entire household an indescribable amount of pain. I shudder to think about how many hours of my life I have wasted shutting my eyes pretending to be asleep while firmly trying to cajole Lola to go to bed herself. It is an astronomical number too high to ponder.
Lola has become very, very attached to me during these last few months of my maternity leave and frequently requests to do things with mommy, and "only" mommy. This has made it very hard for me to spend as much time with Al and Teo as I would have liked. Sometimes Lola tests me in what feels like every way, and makes me feel like a failure for my inability to draw boundaries/remain unemotional/be attentive and patient. I look at her 2 year old stuff and shudder to consider what life with Lola the teenager will be like!
But then there are cuddly, sweet moments, like when I am playing with her when she asks me to pick her up "so high" and hold her tight, and she says, "I love you so much mommy," or when she is nestled into my side while I am putting her to sleep at night, and she smiles with barely-contained glee and exhales a sigh of such contentment and pleasure, that my heart feels like it will burst.
Play on Words
Lola is so clever, witty and fun. She often plays with words, mixing similarly-sounding words or deliberately misstating phrases, so that she can have a good cackle about it. For example, she knows one of my favorite fruits/flavors is passion fruit, or "bai xiang guo" or (hundred fragrant fruit) in Chinese. But she also knows that her brothers drink milk. So the other day she joked that the brothers would have "nai xiang guo" flavor - deliberately substituting "bai" with the same tone "nai" (for milk). Another play on words that she loves is "gu puo," which is what she calls my aunt. She riffed on the "gu" by adding "xiang" in front of it, which changes it to "mushroom lady". It's hard to fully explain the cleverness of these turns of phrases unless you speak Mandarin, but trust me when I say that they're sophisticated.
Gentle and Sweet... But with a Dash of the Macabre
Despite how strong Lola's personality seems when it comes to her decisiveness and the volatility of her temper tantrums, she is the sweetest and gentlest little girl. When tapping the drums in her music class, she always uses a very light touch. And when she touches her brothers, whether it is grabbing their hands, or patting their cheeks or heads, she does it with a feather light touch. She is also (in her words) "a little bit shy" in public. She is just so incredibly sweet. However, Lola loves giving people shots from her doctor's kit, and she was obsessed with the fact that I had to go to the dentist to get my tooth pulled, making a whole playdate out of the dentist office's playroom. She practically cackles with glee when it comes time for others (never herself of course) to be administered medicine or any kind of physical pain or scary treatment!
Miss Accessories
Lola is more of a girly-girl than we encouraged. We certainly don't mind that she loves pretty dresses, or her ballet costumes, but we also really try not to buy pink, Disney princesses, makeup or baby dolls. But somehow we have ended up with a toddler who loves her qi pao, wants to get her nails painted (I don't even know how she grasped that concept so quickly; she saw a toy nail polish bottle made out of wood in a toy store and immediately asked if she could apply color to her nails), and requires, even when playing, at least two bags, sunglasses, a belt and multiple hairbands stacked up and down her body to "go out". It's hard to feel too concerned about all this though, because I get a huge kick out of her love of accessories.
An Excuse for Every Occasion
With my parents here for so long, Lola has gotten really used to having her grandparents around. It's one of their routines now for Lola and her yeye to tease each other. He will ask if he can drink her water, or wear her clothes, or have some of what she is eating. And without fail, she will come up with a very fitting excuse - the water is too cold for him to drink, her clothes are too small for him, the food is too hard for him. He often asks if he can come along on her adventure, and she will shut him down quickly by saying, "no, only mommy!" When he asks why, that's when the innumerable excuses come out. For example, on swimming: he hasn't finished eating yet; he doesn't have a swimsuit; Lola's swimsuits are too small. If it's upon our return from someplace, she will shut it down with: "We already went! Next time!"
Role Reversal
Lola loves to play. In fact, almost all of her temper tantrums probably fall into two camps: (1) when she is playing and does not want to sleep/change clothes/brush her teeth/leave home, or (2) when she doesn't want to leave me or do something without me. A lot of her play is focused on imaginative make-believe, playing with her little animals or friends. Recently another of her favorite ways to play is to have the adult be Lola, and she in turn be that person (mommy, auntie, yeye, etc). This has been such a fun and delightful exercise. She mimics our behaviors and attitudes so perfectly. It also really shines a mirror on our tone and behaviors that is so enlightening.
Case in point, when Lola acts as mommy and mommy acts as Lola, our conversations play out like this:
Lola: Mommy, can I play with you?
Mommy: No, I need to work!
Lola: But I really want to play with you. Don't go to work!
Mommy: I am very busy. I will play with you when I come home.
or where Lola acts as auntie and auntie acts as Lola:
Lola: Auntie, can I play with you?
Auntie: Not now, I am dusting!
Lola: Why do you have to dust?
Auntie: It is so dirty! I need to clean.
Lola: I want to play with you.
Auntie: No, it is time to sleep!
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