It's been quite a beginning to the year of the rat. This weekend was the lunar new year, traditionally the biggest holiday in Asia, full of revelry and family and large gatherings. But coronavirus has put a huge damper on the celebrations.
I guess it's normal for emotions to be a little bit out of whack postpartum. This time around, I didn't know whether to worry because I was in such a good mood for the first couple of weeks. I felt so elated, but in a peaceful and content way. Surrounded by my beautiful and smart daughter and my beautiful, perfect little babies... it just felt... too perfect? I kept basking in it and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Well, I don't know if it's as a result of my expectations or if all the happy hormones and drugs have finally been flushed out of my system, but I am full of anxiety about... well, lately it feels like nearly everything.
Al and Teo are one month old tomorrow.
The boys are doing really well, except for a really bad case of diaper rash as they both continue to poop nonstop. They poop way more than Lola did and it's wreaking havoc on the poor tender skin of their bottoms. Michael was worried that they might be dehydrated and wanted a second opinion to confirm that nothing more serious was at play. We summoned a doctor to make a housecall (pretty awesome service, but the price is also pretty astronomical) to check on them on the Sunday of the Chinese New Year - as all private clinics were shut and we wanted to avoid the hospital given fears of the virus currently spreading throughout Asia like wildfire (see below for next anxiety trigger).
The doctor's verdict was that we could try a different formula, but actually, fancy and flashy advertising aside, almost all formulas are made with the same kinds of proteins, so if they really were allergic, chances of my buying another formula that would address the issue seemed slim. The twins are also not exhibiting any allergic rashes or blood in their stools or anything else that would indicate an allergy. His verdict was that their digestive systems may just still be underdeveloped and will take time. It's not uncommon in newborns but we were lucky we managed to avoid this level of diaper rash with Lola. I wince to look at their bottoms, the poor things. And then I could not get any diaper cream because stores were closed for the holidays.
My confinement nanny also got me thinking that the Mustela cream and vaseline I was buying from the local grocery store were counterfeit, because she was puzzled why they weren't working as well as she thought they should - which was very reassuring. The metanium diaper rash cream that we have found to be very effective also turns out not to be sold in Hong Kong but rather only sold on Amazon (though I now have my doubts about authenticity of items on Amazon as well) or in the UK. The only other place I know to obtain it is through our pediatrician's clinic (but, see above, also closed for the holidays). Needless to say all of this has me jumping on pins and needles.
Then there has to be this goddamn virus that comes out of a wild animal wet market in China that should have been banned and shut down years ago. Have we learned nothing from SARS? Or MERS? Or swine flu, or avian flu, or any other highly contagious and scary disease from the past two decades?
Coronavirus has been making headlines everywhere and the grim statistics keep building each and every day. Face masks and alcohol sanitizers are sold out nearly everywhere and already prices have skyrocketed to address the shortage of supply. Thankfully I thought to buy a few boxes of masks last week earlier when there was still stock, but we will run out of those soon. My cousin from Taiwan offered to ship me a whole box of them, which I gratefully accepted, but then someone else told me that they are banning the shipments of face masks! Then I started reading about which kinds of face masks were the best at screening out contaminants (to which I snorted, because - I mean, if I can't even get regular face masks, how am I worrying about getting my hands on the best kind). Then I started reading about counterfeit face masks being sold in Hong Kong, which really doesn't help allay any fears. Then I sent everyone videos of how to properly don and doff face masks (yes, it's somewhat intuitive but it's still worth making sure you really know how to wear one) - and then I watched as my nanny completely messed it up, causing my blood pressure to skyrocket.
I haven't stepped outside in days and am trying to avoid going outside as much as possible, but I understand that nearly everyone on the streets (and there are significantly less people on the streets) are wearing face masks. The number of confirmed cases in China jumps by the hundreds every day (and those are only the official, confirmed numbers, so who knows what the real numbers actually are) and everyone in Hong Kong, especially those who were here during SARS, are watching with dread. As a place with incredibly high population density and such proximity to the mainland, with so many different modes of transportation to aid in the spread of the virus, Hong Kong is so vulnerable. It seems like just a matter of time before it wreaks havoc here as well.
The Education Bureau just announced that they are shutting schools for 2.5 weeks, until February 17. When I saw that my heart dropped. It's a sign of how serious this virus is and how much people are worried. But also, what are we supposed to do with Lola and all the mornings when she should be out learning and having fun with her teachers and classmates? I don't even want to think about the cost of all those classes if her nursery school doesn't offer us makeups. And it's not like makeups are that great either - scheduling those makeups when schools reopen again, trying to fit double the number of classes into the same number of days? Logistical nightmare.
My parents come in a little less than two weeks from the US for nearly 2 months, and I have my 24 hour confinement nannies for another three weeks or so. I am looking forward to my parents being here and meeting the twins but having long term visitors can also be stressful, even if they are not staying with us. I am also really worried about how our schedule will work once I lose my confinement nannies. The laundry, dishes, cooking, feeding, cleaning... not to mention taking care of Lola and both babies, each a full on job in itself, feels like a delicate juggling act that could all go to hell in a moment of bad planning (or lack of planning). I've been getting through this particular anxiety by not thinking about it. The mental load; it is a heavy, heavy load. But it's just a matter of time and eventually I am going to have to face it, because otherwise who will? And that in and of itself feels like a lot.
I have been watching the Morning Show to keep my mind off of things (giving Apple TV+ a try!), and I am speeding through novels at the pace of about a book every two or three days. I just finished Linda Holmes' "Evvie Drake Starts Over," which was a surprisingly readable and very sweet love story that I did not expect. It was a nice contrast to Richard Russo's "Chances Are," which was also a surprisingly readable mystery and love story (of sorts). And I'm now on Ann Patchett's "The Dutch House," as well as Rebecca Makai's "The Great Believers," and basically when I'm reading this much it means I'm not sleeping enough or I'm practicing avoidance. Or both.
Okay. Now that I've typed it all out, I feel a little bit better. And I should sleep. Because that's a precious commodity and like everything else if I don't plan it right it could be a long stretch before I can sleep again!
I guess it's normal for emotions to be a little bit out of whack postpartum. This time around, I didn't know whether to worry because I was in such a good mood for the first couple of weeks. I felt so elated, but in a peaceful and content way. Surrounded by my beautiful and smart daughter and my beautiful, perfect little babies... it just felt... too perfect? I kept basking in it and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Well, I don't know if it's as a result of my expectations or if all the happy hormones and drugs have finally been flushed out of my system, but I am full of anxiety about... well, lately it feels like nearly everything.
Al and Teo are one month old tomorrow.
The boys are doing really well, except for a really bad case of diaper rash as they both continue to poop nonstop. They poop way more than Lola did and it's wreaking havoc on the poor tender skin of their bottoms. Michael was worried that they might be dehydrated and wanted a second opinion to confirm that nothing more serious was at play. We summoned a doctor to make a housecall (pretty awesome service, but the price is also pretty astronomical) to check on them on the Sunday of the Chinese New Year - as all private clinics were shut and we wanted to avoid the hospital given fears of the virus currently spreading throughout Asia like wildfire (see below for next anxiety trigger).
The doctor's verdict was that we could try a different formula, but actually, fancy and flashy advertising aside, almost all formulas are made with the same kinds of proteins, so if they really were allergic, chances of my buying another formula that would address the issue seemed slim. The twins are also not exhibiting any allergic rashes or blood in their stools or anything else that would indicate an allergy. His verdict was that their digestive systems may just still be underdeveloped and will take time. It's not uncommon in newborns but we were lucky we managed to avoid this level of diaper rash with Lola. I wince to look at their bottoms, the poor things. And then I could not get any diaper cream because stores were closed for the holidays.
My confinement nanny also got me thinking that the Mustela cream and vaseline I was buying from the local grocery store were counterfeit, because she was puzzled why they weren't working as well as she thought they should - which was very reassuring. The metanium diaper rash cream that we have found to be very effective also turns out not to be sold in Hong Kong but rather only sold on Amazon (though I now have my doubts about authenticity of items on Amazon as well) or in the UK. The only other place I know to obtain it is through our pediatrician's clinic (but, see above, also closed for the holidays). Needless to say all of this has me jumping on pins and needles.
Then there has to be this goddamn virus that comes out of a wild animal wet market in China that should have been banned and shut down years ago. Have we learned nothing from SARS? Or MERS? Or swine flu, or avian flu, or any other highly contagious and scary disease from the past two decades?
Coronavirus has been making headlines everywhere and the grim statistics keep building each and every day. Face masks and alcohol sanitizers are sold out nearly everywhere and already prices have skyrocketed to address the shortage of supply. Thankfully I thought to buy a few boxes of masks last week earlier when there was still stock, but we will run out of those soon. My cousin from Taiwan offered to ship me a whole box of them, which I gratefully accepted, but then someone else told me that they are banning the shipments of face masks! Then I started reading about which kinds of face masks were the best at screening out contaminants (to which I snorted, because - I mean, if I can't even get regular face masks, how am I worrying about getting my hands on the best kind). Then I started reading about counterfeit face masks being sold in Hong Kong, which really doesn't help allay any fears. Then I sent everyone videos of how to properly don and doff face masks (yes, it's somewhat intuitive but it's still worth making sure you really know how to wear one) - and then I watched as my nanny completely messed it up, causing my blood pressure to skyrocket.
I haven't stepped outside in days and am trying to avoid going outside as much as possible, but I understand that nearly everyone on the streets (and there are significantly less people on the streets) are wearing face masks. The number of confirmed cases in China jumps by the hundreds every day (and those are only the official, confirmed numbers, so who knows what the real numbers actually are) and everyone in Hong Kong, especially those who were here during SARS, are watching with dread. As a place with incredibly high population density and such proximity to the mainland, with so many different modes of transportation to aid in the spread of the virus, Hong Kong is so vulnerable. It seems like just a matter of time before it wreaks havoc here as well.
The Education Bureau just announced that they are shutting schools for 2.5 weeks, until February 17. When I saw that my heart dropped. It's a sign of how serious this virus is and how much people are worried. But also, what are we supposed to do with Lola and all the mornings when she should be out learning and having fun with her teachers and classmates? I don't even want to think about the cost of all those classes if her nursery school doesn't offer us makeups. And it's not like makeups are that great either - scheduling those makeups when schools reopen again, trying to fit double the number of classes into the same number of days? Logistical nightmare.
My parents come in a little less than two weeks from the US for nearly 2 months, and I have my 24 hour confinement nannies for another three weeks or so. I am looking forward to my parents being here and meeting the twins but having long term visitors can also be stressful, even if they are not staying with us. I am also really worried about how our schedule will work once I lose my confinement nannies. The laundry, dishes, cooking, feeding, cleaning... not to mention taking care of Lola and both babies, each a full on job in itself, feels like a delicate juggling act that could all go to hell in a moment of bad planning (or lack of planning). I've been getting through this particular anxiety by not thinking about it. The mental load; it is a heavy, heavy load. But it's just a matter of time and eventually I am going to have to face it, because otherwise who will? And that in and of itself feels like a lot.
I have been watching the Morning Show to keep my mind off of things (giving Apple TV+ a try!), and I am speeding through novels at the pace of about a book every two or three days. I just finished Linda Holmes' "Evvie Drake Starts Over," which was a surprisingly readable and very sweet love story that I did not expect. It was a nice contrast to Richard Russo's "Chances Are," which was also a surprisingly readable mystery and love story (of sorts). And I'm now on Ann Patchett's "The Dutch House," as well as Rebecca Makai's "The Great Believers," and basically when I'm reading this much it means I'm not sleeping enough or I'm practicing avoidance. Or both.
Okay. Now that I've typed it all out, I feel a little bit better. And I should sleep. Because that's a precious commodity and like everything else if I don't plan it right it could be a long stretch before I can sleep again!
No comments:
Post a Comment