Teo and Al are One Month Old

Al and Teo turned one month old yesterday!   It seems like we were just in the hospital, but then at other times (usually at 2 or 3 in the morning when I am rousing to feed - or at 4 am after I have finished feeding only to hear Lola wake up and refuse to go back to sleep, like she did last night) it feels like it's been a lot longer than that.

As briefly mentioned in my previous post, both boys are doing well and have gained weight.  Their arms and legs, while still skinny, are no longer wrinkly skin on bone and their cheeks have become deliciously juicy and plump.  Al's cheeks in particular are really big.  Sometimes they remind me of little old Buddhas.  Their eyelashes and eyebrows are coming in, albeit slowly, and I wonder if they will be anywhere as long as Lola's. They both have really good appetites and eat a lot, very quickly.  They are both really strong and with support can sit up pretty straight and burp themselves after a meal - this is good because they sometimes eat so quickly that they gulp down a lot of air.  Teo is strong enough that he can lift his head really high and also, when put on his back, practically flip himself onto his stomach.

They are both such good babies - such sweethearts.  My confinement nanny says "they love me very much," which is a saying for when babies are so cooperative.  They both eat and sleep relatively well and really limit their crying only to when they are getting their diapers changed and bath time.  And they are probably only crying when getting their diapers changed because they have such bad diaper rash!  This is such a blessing because two infants plus a toddler at the same time is a lot.  As it is, it always feels like I am failing short of giving each one the attention that he or she needs.

Here are some pictures captured about a week ago when we were all hanging out in the living room.

Al, who was sleeping very well and refused to open his eyes for photo time.  I love this picture because he looks like a little penguin to me.

 The boys, relaxing together.

 Teo, also sleeping pretty happily. 

 Me, loving on my bundles of joy.

 And of course it wouldn't be complete without Lola!

 Or Michael!

An Anxiety-Ridden Start to the Year of the Rat

It's been quite a beginning to the year of the rat.  This weekend was the lunar new year, traditionally the biggest holiday in Asia, full of revelry and family and large gatherings.  But coronavirus has put a huge damper on the celebrations.

I guess it's normal for emotions to be a little bit out of whack postpartum.  This time around, I didn't know whether to worry because I was in such a good mood for the first couple of weeks.  I felt so elated, but in a peaceful and content way.  Surrounded by my beautiful and smart daughter and my beautiful, perfect little babies... it just felt... too perfect?  I kept basking in it and waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Well, I don't know if it's as a result of my expectations or if all the happy hormones and drugs have finally been flushed out of my system, but I am full of anxiety about... well, lately it feels like nearly everything.

Al and Teo are one month old tomorrow.

The boys are doing really well, except for a really bad case of diaper rash as they both continue to poop nonstop.  They poop way more than Lola did and it's wreaking havoc on the poor tender skin of their bottoms.  Michael was worried that they might be dehydrated and wanted a second opinion to confirm that nothing more serious was at play.  We summoned a doctor to make a housecall (pretty awesome service, but the price is also pretty astronomical) to check on them on the Sunday of the Chinese New Year - as all private clinics were shut and we wanted to avoid the hospital given fears of the virus currently spreading throughout Asia like wildfire (see below for next anxiety trigger). 

The doctor's verdict was that we could try a different formula, but actually, fancy and flashy advertising aside, almost all formulas are made with the same kinds of proteins, so if they really were allergic, chances of my buying another formula that would address the issue seemed slim.  The twins are also not exhibiting any allergic rashes or blood in their stools or anything else that would indicate an allergy.  His verdict was that their digestive systems may just still be underdeveloped and will take time.  It's not uncommon in newborns but we were lucky we managed to avoid this level of diaper rash with Lola.  I wince to look at their bottoms, the poor things.  And then I could not get any diaper cream because stores were closed for the holidays.

My confinement nanny also got me thinking that the Mustela cream and vaseline I was buying from the local grocery store were counterfeit, because she was puzzled why they weren't working as well as she thought they should - which was very reassuring.  The metanium diaper rash cream that we have found to be very effective also turns out not to be sold in Hong Kong but rather only sold on Amazon (though I now have my doubts about authenticity of items on Amazon as well) or in the UK.  The only other place I know to obtain it is through our pediatrician's clinic (but, see above, also closed for the holidays).  Needless to say all of this has me jumping on pins and needles.

Then there has to be this goddamn virus that comes out of a wild animal wet market in China that should have been banned and shut down years ago.  Have we learned nothing from SARS? Or MERS? Or swine flu, or avian flu, or any other highly contagious and scary disease from the past two decades?

Coronavirus has been making headlines everywhere and the grim statistics keep building each and every day.  Face masks and alcohol sanitizers are sold out nearly everywhere and already prices have skyrocketed to address the shortage of supply.  Thankfully I thought to buy a few boxes of masks last week earlier when there was still stock, but we will run out of those soon.  My cousin from Taiwan offered to ship me a whole box of them, which I gratefully accepted, but then someone else told me that they are banning the shipments of face masks!   Then I started reading about which kinds of face masks were the best at screening out contaminants (to which I snorted, because - I mean, if I can't even get regular face masks, how am I worrying about getting my hands on the best kind).  Then I started reading about counterfeit face masks being sold in Hong Kong, which really doesn't help allay any fears.  Then I sent everyone videos of how to properly don and doff face masks (yes, it's somewhat intuitive but it's still worth making sure you really know how to wear one) - and then I watched as my nanny completely messed it up, causing my blood pressure to skyrocket.

I haven't stepped outside in days and am trying to avoid going outside as much as possible, but I understand that nearly everyone on the streets (and there are significantly less people on the streets) are wearing face masks.  The number of confirmed cases in China jumps by the hundreds every day (and those are only the official, confirmed numbers, so who knows what the real numbers actually are) and everyone in Hong Kong, especially those who were here during SARS, are watching with dread.  As a place with incredibly high population density and such proximity to the mainland, with so many different modes of transportation to aid in the spread of the virus, Hong Kong is so vulnerable.  It seems like just a matter of time before it wreaks havoc here as well.

The Education Bureau just announced that they are shutting schools for 2.5 weeks, until February 17.  When I saw that my heart dropped. It's a sign of how serious this virus is and how much people are worried.  But also, what are we supposed to do with Lola and all the mornings when she should be out learning and having fun with her teachers and classmates?  I don't even want to think about the cost of all those classes if her nursery school doesn't offer us makeups.  And it's not like makeups are that great either - scheduling those makeups when schools reopen again, trying to fit double the number of classes into the same number of days?  Logistical nightmare.

My parents come in a little less than two weeks from the US for nearly 2 months, and I have my 24 hour confinement nannies for another three weeks or so.  I am looking forward to my parents being here and meeting the twins but having long term visitors can also be stressful, even if they are not staying with us.   I am also really worried about how our schedule will work once I lose my confinement nannies.  The laundry, dishes, cooking, feeding, cleaning... not to mention taking care of Lola and both babies, each a full on job in itself, feels like a delicate juggling act that could all go to hell in a moment of bad planning (or lack of planning).  I've been getting through this particular anxiety by not thinking about it.  The mental load; it is a heavy, heavy load.  But it's just a matter of time and eventually I am going to have to face it, because otherwise who will?  And that in and of itself feels like a lot.

I have been watching the Morning Show to keep my mind off of things (giving Apple TV+ a try!), and I am speeding through novels at the pace of about a book every two or three days.  I just finished Linda Holmes' "Evvie Drake Starts Over," which was a surprisingly readable and very sweet love story that I did not expect.  It was a nice contrast to Richard Russo's "Chances Are," which was also a surprisingly readable mystery and love story (of sorts).  And I'm now on Ann Patchett's "The Dutch House," as well as Rebecca Makai's "The Great Believers," and basically when I'm reading this much it means I'm not sleeping enough or I'm practicing avoidance.  Or both.

Okay.  Now that I've typed it all out, I feel a little bit better.  And I should sleep.  Because that's a precious commodity and like everything else if I don't plan it right it could be a long stretch before I can sleep again!

Let's Talk: School, Kinder Kicks, Music Class, Ballet Dancing

Lola has started off the new year with all kinds of brilliant developments.

Lola is such a conversationalist.  She will often say to Michael, "Daddy, let's talk.  How was your day?"  And they run through all kinds of topics, including what Lola did that day, with whom, and where, what she liked and didn't like, whether she was happy or sad or angry.

The latest development has been Japan - Lola has become obsessed with going to Japan with Michael, just the two of them, on an adventure.  They have planned their way through the whole trip such that she can fill in all the blanks - she will pack a suitcase, and they will go to the airport, and take a plane, and then a car ride, and they will ride cable cars.  They will eat hotpot, and ice cream, and drink apple juice.  They will go sledding, and daddy will take Lola on a special car ride, and they will play.

With me, Lola chats less about her day and her adventures and instead wants to play with her dolls and Legos and act through scenarios both realistic and imaginary.  She usually assigns me a doll (whether it's "mama" or "brother" or one of her teachers) and I usually have to suggest things for the other dolls to do, or "make conversation".  Lola will command me, "Mama speak!"  Depending on the scenario, our dolls usually play hide and seek, go to Ocean Park/Causeway Bay/Tsim Sha Tsui/Taiwan/Japan/Macau/New York, wait for the train, go to work or school, make tea and chat, go to the playground, or... you get the idea.

School

Lola is now attending Fairchild Academy three times a week, from 8:30 to 11:30 on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays, and she goes "by myself" as she proudly says.  Her transition to independently attending classes has gone really well and she is in the classroom on her own all of this time now.  We get updates on her progress from her teachers from time to time and we have learned that she is quite a style maven (loves the sunglasses and purses and hairbands, slinging multiple ones on herself without fail).  This school is bilingual with approximately ten kids in the class, attended by two teachers (one English speaking, one Mandarin speaking) and sometimes supplemented by a third (English speaking) teacher.  I have to say, I love it.  The environment is small but bright and welcoming.  They only have three classrooms but they all sit on the top floor of a building with floor to ceiling windows overlooking Victoria Park and the harbor.  Her classroom is full of natural wood furniture built to child height, and the common area is also bright and welcoming with a treehouse, full chalkboard, a piano, and all kinds of child-friendly access.

Lola also started attending Highgate, a school on the Peak, on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I have more mixed feelings about this one - it's also a loving environment full of big windows and open spaces, including an expansive open roof terrace for free play, but I don't think it's as well run as Fairchild.  I chose this primarily because they offer a Mandarin-only program on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  The classroom is more crowded, with up to 17 kids, and three teachers.  All three teachers speak Mandarin and the lead teacher is lovely.  But I feel less confident about leaving her to play independently here - I think there are too many children which make accidents unavoidable.  I know it's part of fostering Lola's independence and growth to let her learn independently as she transitions from a baby to a toddler to a kid, but for now I am unapologetically a helicopter parent! As such, our nanny still accompanies Lola in the classroom, albeit sitting off to the side.

Kinder Kicks

Lola goes to soccer class, Kinder Kicks, on Monday afternoons at the local YWCA.  I had signed her up for basketball camp over Christmas and she seemed to take to it okay.  I wasn't sure how soccer would go because Lola generally seems to prefer to handle the ball with her hands - however, so far she seems to like it, the extra exercise does her good, and from the few kicks we have seen her demonstrate at home, Lola's foot eye coordination and her kicking ability has improved! 

 

 

Music Class

She continues to go to music class at Baumhaus, now on Wednesday afternoons.  While the classes here are, in addition to singing and dancing, also about rhythm, math (counting, tempo), and tone and pitch, Lola shows the strongest affinity for singing.  But she likes to sing by herself and will often tell anyone else who tries to sing along with her to stop.  When she's in a good mood, she will belt out whole songs, with surprisingly accurate pitch, nonstop.   "Jingle Bells" and "If You're Happy and You Know It" are in frequent rotation recently and (always and forever), the ABC song, "Happy Birthday" and "Wheels on the Bus."  Here are some pictures of her in their free play area, where she still really enjoys herself.
 



Ballet

But I think the most fun extracurricular activity, the big hit, has been ballet.  As with all things Lola, I had no idea what to expect - whether she would love it, loathe it, or be indifferent.  Tuns out, Lola goes on Sunday mornings and she looks forward to "ballet dance" as she calls it, nearly all week.  Her teacher, Miss Belle, has now frequently entered her rotation of playacting and dolls.

Lola chose her own ballet costume (the purple leotard with a purple tutu to match) and was so enamored with it that she cried when she had to take it off when she got home.  She also loves her ballet shoes so much that she wore it in her Fairchild class and told her teachers all about ballet.

Trying out ballet dance for the first time:

 Loving her ballet costume and shoes:



 Dancing to the Frozen theme:
 

Brotherly Bonding

I meant to include these pictures of the brothers bonding in my last post also.  My two little peas in a pod:

 

Unsurprisingly, the boys are very comfortable next to each other and sometimes on top of each other.  We have started putting them into their own cribs to give them space, but it's still so cute to watch them snuggled close together.  They will reach out and hold hands.

And here's a sweet picture of father and son (Al), wide eyed and awake, just calmly checking each other out.  Awwww.

Checking in at 3 Weeks

The boys turned 3 weeks old yesterday!  Wow, that happened quickly.  They have gained a lot of weight, I think, based purely on feel and appearance.  I'm sure they have gained over a pound each, which does not sound like a lot until you consider that that's over 20% of their body weight!

They also look very long, with long coltish legs and long, skinny feet.  I find their little fingers and especially their little toes to be so adorable and irresistible.  I took these pictures yesterday evening after we had a good long feed.  I managed to catch Al in a good mood; Teo, not so much.  And usually, if their personalities so far have been any indication, that's the opposite of their temperament!  Al is also very sweet natured but Teo seems more calm and observant overall.

Here is Al:

 Here is Teo:

As you will note, Al has a little red and white string tied around his ankle.  We have discovered one characteristic that helps us distinguish the brothers, however, out of an abundance of caution we have decided to keep the anklet in case of any confusion!

In retrospect, Lola was a really difficult baby who did not like to feed, did not like to sleep, needed to be held a certain way, etc. etc.  It's only with the benefit of hindsight that we realize this!  I can't tell you how many times I have sat down to breastfeed one or the other brother and marvel at how easily each feed has been accomplished, as opposed to each sweaty wrestling match with Lola!

I was remarking to a friend that this initial period is so fraught with heightened emotions - extreme highs of adrenaline, elation, and the new - and extreme lows of anxiety, overthinking and, yes, boredom.  There have been many a night or day when I sit down to nurse without a phone or a reader and find myself stuck for a good half hour, watching the clock, sometimes wide awake, sometimes in a drowsy stupor, thinking through matters tedious and practical (lists, groceries, to do's), fanciful (vacation destinations, what our lives will look like in two or four years), and completely unhelpful (rehashing old arguments with Michael, worrying about every thing that suddenly seems dangerous or harmful to my defenseless children)...but overall, this has been such a nice period as we settle into becoming a family of five and I get to spend time with my daughter as well as learn my sons. 

Sunny Days with Al and Teo

Here are some pictures from an impromptu afternoon photo shoot mid-week last week, when both boys were unexpectedly wide awake after a feed and looking particularly alert.  The sun was also streaming in through my windows and it was a really nice day.

Enjoying a brief little spell of sunshine:

 Cuddling my babies, squee!  They smell so good.

 

 

 

 Al and Teo are both growing and while their legs and arms are still just skin and bones, the change in weight is noticeable.  I don't have a baby scale so we used the really informal method of weighing ourselves with and without them to see the difference, but it appears, and we are pretty certain, that they have  surpassed their birth weights.  They both eat, sleep, poop and pee non-stop - and that is exactly what they're supposed to do!

Teo's face in particular has filled out a lot more since birth, which means it's become even harder to tell them apart.  Alex's face continues to be bigger and rounder, but it's only really noticeable when placed directly next to Teo, and even then is still difficult to discern at certain angles.

The personalities of the boys are pretty different though, and have been since birth.  Teo is very observant and quiet and generally calm.  Al tends to be a bit more active and loud.  However, since we have brought them home they have morphed toward the same general consensus when it comes to changing their diapers - they hate it! 

They generally like bathing, but not the part that requires them to get naked or cold (so all of the time before they hit the water, and all of the time after they come out of the water and before they're fully dressed).

This is Al - can't say he seems too thrilled to be wet!


 This is Teo - marginally more alert and relaxed about being tossed into a tub of water.
 

Other than diapers and bath time, both boys are blessedly relatively easy-going.  They are still mostly just sleeping and feeding (and pooping and peeing) and I am enjoying ample cuddle time!  I have also caught them both smiling in their sleep from time to time and it is one of the sweetest things that pulls on all my heartstrings.