Wednesday, February 7, 2018

The Fourth Trimester

As for me, I'm on the mend, slowly but surely.  I had a smooth delivery overall and nothing went wrong, but this part of the process has felt at times like an unpleasant slog out of quicksand, or a very dark, deep well.  I guess there is a reason people refer to this as the fourth trimester.  Pregnancy was nowhere as bad as I expected, but postpartum recovery has been much more challenging.

I was pretty emotional and teary in the first two or three weeks, but I think I was able to gain my equilibrium after that.  And I really didn't take into account the mental and emotional impact that I would feel going from a lifestyle that was firmly in my control, action packed with activities and tasks planned with ruthless efficiency, to one that meandered and was at the will and whim of an infant with whom I could not quite communicate.

I didn't have much swelling while pregnant but had quite a bit of water retention, especially in my hands and feet and legs, after birth.  Breastfeeding is also really hard and really tiring - easier for some people, harder for others, impossible for still others, but definitely not easy or simple.  Then there's the unprecedented sleep deprivation.  Then there are all the stresses and worries of a first time parent (the number of times we have googled some variation of, "is [this] normal for my newborn")!

It's also very hard to be patient enough to allow my body to recover and to have faith that all the jiggly parts will go away. 

But now we're pretty much past all of those issues.  Other than my self-consciousness over my stretch marks and belly, and my aching wrists and thumbs, each day sees marked progress.  I have been to the physical therapist and work on my exercises as much as possible.  I try to get out of the house every day to run errands, or else just to go for a stroll.  One of the nicest excursions was when I took Lola for a walk last week to our nearby park on a particularly sunny day.  The power of fresh (well, in Hong Kong, it's debatable) air and sunshine is remarkable.

I still have a confinement lady who comes to cook my meals and help with Lola during the day, but now that my first 30 days post-partum are over, I am venturing outside and also starting to do some light exercise.

I did the Chinese confinement partly because I believe in some of its principles (it emphasizes rest for the mother, and lots of nourishing soups and foods that encourage the production of breast milk) but probably more because my parents were so fanatical about it.  Call me a dutiful daughter but I just knew that I could not NOT do this.  As it is my confinement was way less radical than the "traditional" methods of not showering ever, or letting your bare feet be exposed.

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