Sweet Child of Mine

Sometimes Michael and I stare at Lola in wonder and marvel at how we managed to create her.  She is such an individual, such a character, brimming with such personality.  So many of her mannerisms are so truly bizarre that we can only laugh helplessly at her quirks.  I hope she never loses her sense of self and is just as fearless later in expressing her feelings as she is now.  I hope she knows always how much we love her.

 I am typing this from my hotel room in Tokyo as I stare wistfully at pictures and videos of Lola, missing her terribly.  This is my second work trip and I am away two nights this time.  I'm pretty sure this is my limit for time away from Lola.

Lately, Lola has started to really form an attachment to me.  If she sees me while someone else is holding her, she immediately turns to me and reaches her arms out to be held.  If she is playing on her mat, she will crawl (or pull and scoot herself) over to me and either lay her head on my knee, open her mouth to chew on my knee/thigh/whatever body part is within chomping distance, or reach her arms out in a Superman pose and make noises, seeking to be held.  I can never resist picking her up and holding her close, especially because when I grant her wish, she immediately dolphin kicks her feet and grins or shouts to express her delight.  I don't know for how long it will be that I can make her so happy by virtue of such a simple act, so I intend to do it as much as possible and cherish this time!

  

Her creamy skin, soft ears, little hands that are growing more and more agile and strong by the day – I love having her in my arms so I can check out all of these details while sneaking in a kiss on her neck or forehead.  My heart squeezes with love and pleasure when she snuggles into my neck or kind of rests her chin on my shoulder, just hanging out with one small hand on my shoulder or upper arm.  Moments like those have me closing my eyes with the nearly unbearable sweetness of it all.

The hard part comes when I have to put her down to do something – she will usually cry or get really upset, sometimes even clinging to my shirt or my shoulder.   The worst is when I have to leave for work or a trip and I have to wait for her to be distracted by a toy, or for her to be turned away, to slip out.  When I left for my trip to Tokyo yesterday, I could still hear through the door her increasingly frantic cries as she tried to figure out where I went.  At least this time I kept the tears in check (unlike my first work trip away from Lola, when tears just slipped uncontrollably down my face as I slipped out the door and down the elevator and into the car waiting for me) but gah, leaving her is so tough.

She loves the TV, but she may love holding the remote more.  She's convinced that she controls the pictures by simply grasping the remote.

Some of the best moments are when I put her into the baby carrier for a walk when I manage to get home early, or over the weekend.  She recognizes her carrier and as soon as I bring it out, I have to be prepared to act fast because she starts kicking and flapping her arms like crazy, while making increasingly urgent noises because she wants to go! outside! now!  Once I have her clipped in, she kicks her little feet vigorously and bumps the back of her head against my upper chest to indicate how thrilled she is.  Sometimes, on our way into the elevator, she’ll let out a big sigh of contentment, or a super high pitched happy cry, as if the prospect of a walk outside is just too much pleasure to keep contained in her little body.