March Madness, and a Newfound Use for Lawyerly Language

I am not sure exactly when or how it began, but Michael and I always bet on the March Madness tournament.  I think it must have started pretty much when we first stated dating.  We created our own little bracket, which we always genuinely and enthusiastically invited others to join, but, let's face it, we didn't really care if anyone else joined because the whole point was to draw blood beat each other.  It might be said that we can be a little bit competitive with each other.

The long and short of it is, for years it seemed to me a hopeless exercise in futility because the man is insane in his uncanny predictive abilities and knows a lot about basketball.  

People, we are talking about someone who as a child clutched his basketball to bed and in his sleep. 

 I would have given up hope long ago except for the fact that I had two things going for me: (i) a good spirit (I mean, who cares, the bracket is so much fun regardless) and a naive optimism; and (ii) let's be honest, I never really was very good about paying up on my bets…and therefore I did not *quite* feel that much pain, other than the stinging lash of disappointment and my hurt pride.

Last year, however, by some miracle, and also due to the inherent unpredictable nature of March Madness (which is what makes it all so fun, right?), I won!   And so I felt a little (but just a little) ashamed last year because Michael manfully went in for a manicure pursuant to the terms of his bet (although he did drag it out a bit - he didn't get the manicure until September!) Link to the results of last year's bet.

The bets are never of monetary value (what would be the fun in that?).  They are always activities, typically of a variety that the other would really hate to do (hence, the manicure).

So this year we are coming up with bets that we both agree must and shall be promptly enforced.

What is scary is that I find myself framing the terms of this bet in rather… legal terms.

My bet conveyed to Michael over chat contains terms like, "from time to time", "for the avoidance of doubt," "provided, that," and "must meet certain minimum quality requirements to be determined at such time as and when I win".  Is this a scary development or a bad development or both...?  

This year our bracket is called "Duck Ponds".  Cute because he always calls me duck.   May the best bracketeer win!