The boys are now closer to two than one, and Lola closer to four than three. We are firmly in toddlerhood and I am already getting fleeting (everything is fleeting) glimpses of how quickly the children are going to grow and how fast our lives are going to pass. In case that was too depressing, here are two really cute pictures of these munchkins. Here they are. My loves.
A rare glimpse of all three playing well together! I wonder if it is coincidence that they are looking the other way...
I had to do some quick mental math today to remind myself how old I am (is that disturbing by the way, that I often forget how old I am?) and was startled by the twinge of both alarm and satisfaction at being so close to 40. Honestly, I am so comfortable with who I am now, and with so many quirks of my personality, both good and awful, that it feels very... authentic and real. In a way that I could never have said or felt when I was in my 20s or even early 30s. But all of this is to say that time is flying by FAST.
It's been months since I've given a meaningful update on everyone's developments, which are always such great points of reference when I look back later. Unfortunately, these posts take so much time and thought. I am always racing to put down pictures nowadays, in the hopes that I can record all of our activities. I need to remember to put down some growth and development milestones for the kids as well! It seems like, therefore, there is no better time to do this than during the first week of my first real vacation since I returned to work after my maternity leave last June. I am just relishing and reveling in this lovely and wonderful break. I don't mind that we're not going anywhere, because Hong Kong is so damn beautiful, especially when it is sunny.
Here are some recent and seriously overdue reflections and observations of the kids, in reverse age order:
TEO. He has grown chunkier in recent months, and coupled with his haircut at the beginning of the summer he looks more like Al. He is still the skinnier and lighter of the two, though he has filled out a lot more. He moves very quickly and will always run instead of walk. He rushes headlong into things and still tends to fall or trip more than his brother as a result. He is adventurous and loves swinging and climbing and hide and seek. His laugh is so loud, so infectious, and so warm that it is impossible not to be pulled in by it. Teo is incredibly charming and sweet and his cheesy grin, when he pulls it out, is very hard to resist. His grin is lightning quick and full of charm and charisma. You can just tell that he is going to be such a jokester when he gets older. Quick, witty and full of mischief. When he chortles or cackles, he really puts his whole body and energy into it. This little boy especially loves ketchup and oranges, dogs and planes.
But he can also be very serious and observant and quiet. Teo generally picks up things very quickly (repeating words you say, grasping concepts, applying them, remembering them) and now says "noooo" very defiantly when you do something he does not like or appreciate. He also knows to get close and say "bao bao" (the word for being held in Mandarin) followed by "please," except he says it like "pleeeeeease". He says all the easy stuff like "hi," "bye bye," as well as "ai ni" (love you in Mandarin). Possibly my favorite word of his that Al does not often say is "wow!" which he says with exactly the right inflection of someone who is truly well wowed and pleased. Teo will "speak" confidently and loudly for very long periods at a time, just strings and strings of sounds all flowing together into long conversations and commentary, most of which are not real words, but his intent and meaning is almost always quite clear. He is also quite observant - for example, he seems to know where his brother is (the opposite is not true) and notices when his sister has pretty ribbons or bows in her hair.
Teo really enjoys playing quietly by himself and often you will find him separate from his sister and brother - playing in a different room, or on his own with his own set of toys. He is almost always the one that has settled himself and is playing contentedly and happily, before being interrupted by Al (much to his dismay) or Lola (though this happens to a less frequent extent). For a while, Teo's reaction to Al was instant dislike and upset, crying and attacking and pushing Al away. There was biting, broken skin, bruises, bleeding. There was hair pulling. There was screaming, screeching, yanking, pulling. That has slowly changed over time, such that now there are often moments (and I do mean like two minutes max) when the boys can play together.
Teo loves Auntie Lyn so much and is so attached to her. Often he will be playing happily and then, without any warning, jump up and start running around in panic, frantically shouting her name, because he suddenly became aware that he can't see her. The worst is when he sits or stands outside the kitchen door crying desperately because he cannot find her. He is very sentimental and attached. After her, he often finds comfort in the arms of Siti. He is really adorable when getting a shower when he is a little bit nervous of the spray, and will lock his arms around Siti's knees while shutting his eyes tightly. I find Teo so endearing. Of my three, he is probably the least reliant on or attached to me, which I often feel wistful about, but at the same time I recognize I only have two arms and only so much time and I am also grateful that he has other people who can provide him with such comfort, love and care.
AL. This one is the snuggler of the family. He is also a lot of action and movement (a particular favorite being spinning himself around until he gets dizzy), and loves chasing after balls, climbing bookshelves, pulling toys off shelves, etc., however, he is also a huge fan of the quiet, long hold and cuddle. He gets very quiet and settles his chin on my shoulder and I can sense the comfort seeping into his little body as he melts into my arms in comfort and relief. Lately he always comes running urgently to me when he sees me, and wants my affection keenly, despite how limited my time sometimes is with him. This little boy especially loves pizza and strawberries, water and cars.
He is the chunkiest of my babies but it makes him so reassuring to hold. To give some perspective, I believe he is currently only about 5.5-6 pounds lighter than Lola, ha! His cheeks are so squishable and his body so...firm yet little yet solid. I cannot resist blowing raspberries into his cheeks and neck and he tolerates me with a barely restrained chuckle. He also hates to see anyone leave, and will cry and come running. When he sees me heading to the door with my bag, he knows to head to the cabinet to grab his shoes also. It is so sweet but sometimes heartbreaking for me, as I really do not want to leave him!
Al continues to be shockingly strong and if you want to see a study in persistence, just try to grab a toy out of his little hands. That grip!! He is obsessed with anything that requires pressing. One of the earliest words he learned was "an," which means "press" in Mandarin. He loves to press buttons, especially those related to lights (another thing he loves and knows in Mandarin, "deng") and any remote controls. Al loves typing and when he sees me at my laptop makes a beeline for me, arms raised, slightly whining, as he asks to be swung up into my lap so he can "an an an". I have a lot of pictures of him sitting in my lap tapping contentedly away at my keyboard. Recently Al has become very good at counting, in both Mandarin and English, and will roughly follow the order of one to ten, though he often forgets four and his strongest numbers are one, two, three and ten. When we all went swimming the other day I tossed him high up in the air after "three" and he was just in heaven, chortling "yi er san!" over and over as he waited expectantly for the thrill of flight.
Al is more precise in his speech than Teo, often enunciating more clearly and carefully. He is a very good mimic of almost any words that you want him to repeat. However, he is much more reticent and often will not say anything. In class or during play, he can often appear not to be paying attention because he is so focused on whatever little task or action is taking his whole (and I do mean whole) concentration. Al, most unlike his brother and sister, however, has a serious fear of missing out. He is always looking up and getting intrigued by whatever object, toy, or item they are holding or looking at or playing with, and he immediately rushes into the mix to snatch the object away so that he can see just what was so wonderful or fun about it. I would dare argue that this is the cause of about 70% of the fights in our households, right here.
LOLA. What is there to say about this amazing gift of a child! I am full of anticipation of how her beautiful little brothers will turn out, with her as an example. At the end of August the boys will be 20 months. Soon they will be two years old!! I don't know if it's because they are so much less verbal than Lola, or if time is just flying by too quickly for me now because of how busy our lives are, but I can't reconcile the boys at this age with the Lola of 20 months. Lola transitioned to a toddler bed when she was 2, and I can't quite picture the boys being mature enough to do that to them in four months. It's a good reminder to me that while Lola has superb and clear communication skills, plus intelligence, curiosity and emotional intuition, she is still a very young child who is developing, learning and processing so many things that can often be overwhelming, and I should not have unfair or unrealistic expectations of her. She also deserves a lot of patience and understanding and sympathy.
That said, Lola is truly three going on thirty three. She observes and remembers everything. Her language skills are off the charts. She loves science, the human body, germs, viruses, vaccines and wants to be a doctor (or maybe a scientist) and a dentist. Her favorite book series is currently The Magic School Bus. I bought it a couple of months ago on a whim, suspecting she would like it but not sure, and thinking I wanted to impart more educational STEM into her repertoire. It has gone over far better than I expected - now she is just living, breathing and dreaming Magic School Bus and weird Ms. Frizzle to no end.
I took her this past weekend on a just-mommy-and-Lola special treat outing, and after we hit up the bookstore (among other places) we left with not one not two but three books on science and the human body (two reference books for kids that are appropriate for those aged 6+) which she has then quietly pored over for hours since. She loves watching boats sink, and people getting shots, and kids diving with sharks or kids losing teeth, and she is fascinated by blood (specifically blood loss) and cuts and wounds and shots and needles and stitches and hospitals and nurses and doctors and surgery. When I threatened her that not washing her hair would result in lice, thinking it would scare her, little did I know it would have the opposite effect, fascinating her and resulting in her requesting videos of lice crawling in kids' scalps nonstop. She is my bloodthirsty little scientist and I cannot help but marvel at what a wonder she is.
Lola chatters non-stop, has tons of rules for the household and her brothers to endure/obey, lots of opinions and ideas, and suggestions galore. She is starting PY1 (the equivalent of K2) at SIS on Monday next week, and is so excited. She is again bright eyed bushy tailed with the wonder of school, a new place, a new adventure, not one but two teachers (one English, one Mandarin) and it shows. She has been doing minisports, has discovered a love for ice skating which I am hoping to continue into the fall, has fallen back in love with art again (specifically, clay, which she asked me to ask her teacher about so that she can do clay bead art), continues to love singing, and has a love hate relationship with swimming. She has managed to be "learning" how to swim for nearly four months now and all she has to show for it thus far is blowing bubbles with her mouth barely below the surface. She told me she would put her head under water once she got goggles - then it became better goggles that didn't leak - then a swim hat - a kickboard - a swim toy - once her dad was back to teach her... you get the idea. As each of these items have come and went or been achieved, amazingly a new milestone or threshold has popped up in its place.
ALL THE KIDS. Lola is being so much kinder and gentler and more interactive with her brothers now. Al and Teo also communicate with each other, albeit for limited intervals, and I always feel like I have been given a particularly precious gift when I get to bask in the rhythm and flow as the kids interact and "talk" to each other. The boys have all the appropriate pause points and inflections (question, response, call, answer) even though they are speaking a language with each other that we do not understand. Teo is never upset at his sister, no matter what she does, and he genuinely loves and adores her and welcomes her presence, whether she is trying to sit on him, pick him up, manipulate his limbs, play with him, or take something from him (and often all of these things do happen in the span of 30 seconds). Al is much more likely to fight with Lola, where he will pick at her arms and try to snatch at her toys, or just grab angrily at her in an attempt to recoup what is his. In this also things have slowly changed over time, such that while Lola is still prone to jealousy fits and temper tantrums, more often than not she shows affection for her brothers and will proactively go to squeeze them, hug them or interact with them. The kids have all sprouted what feels like at least two inches over the summer. Lola is outgrowing her pajamas and solidly into 4 year old clothing now. The boys are 20 months wearing 24-36 months clothing. They are all past 90 cm and soon the rides at Ocean Park and Disneyland will be within our reach!!
Our new recent favorite family bonding activity after dinner is "dinosaur," when the kids essentially play tag with our aunties, running all over the apartment chasing each other shrieking, shouting, stomping and giggling their heads off while whoever is the "dinosaur" holding the silicone dinosaur hand puppet goes to "bite" the others. Seeing it in live action for the first time after dinner tonight, Michael marveled that it's quite frankly a miracle that we haven't been kicked out of this building! In sum, I would say that there is a lot of work and tiredness, but there is also a lot of joy.
