Tuesday, August 27, 2019

An Outpouring of Updates

Lola is sick with a cold currently and has been under the weather all week.  Of course as soon as I post that she's been having a great summer this had to happen!  She has been running a bit of a fever and has a lot of congestion and phlegm.  What has made it all so much worse is that being sick wreaks havoc with her already tenuous sleep schedule.  Lola has also been cranky. as. heck.  She has been waking up at all hours of night, calling for me or for Jovie, and crying.  She wakes herself up with coughing... I was up from 2 to 4 am on Friday night with her, playing and cajoling and trying to convince her to go back to sleep, and from 1 to 2 and then from 4 to 5 with her on Sunday night.  Today, we took her to the doctor again, and her cough has developed into an ear infection and bronchitis.  The poor thing.

The only way I have been able to keep the sickness at bay has been through a handy and well timed gift by my friend who is also pregnant: Bioceutical ArmaForce Pregnancy immune support.  We are on the same baby schedule as our first are only four days apart and our second babies will be about a month apart.  She does a lot of long haul flights for work as well, and after I got sick on the return flight from New York to Hong Kong, she gave me these echinacea, zinc, Vitamin C, Vitamin D and lactoferin immune booster pills for pregnant ladies.  These things have worked wonders and I am a wholehearted convert!

Other than that, life has continued at its current fast pace.  Work has been relatively slow but a lot of projects are coming up on the horizon so I suspect it will be a fast-paced fall.  I am trying to take advantage by meeting up with friends for lunches and catching up.  I had a lovely and delicious and filling lunch at the Captain's Bar with my friend on Friday - curry and rice and naan.  I went to Sushi Kuu with another friend on Monday - beef shabu shabu!  And today, I got to enjoy a nice lunch with my corporate team at the very pretty new restaurant, Zest by Konishi, located on the top floor of 18 On Lan.  The decor struck me as a bit claustrophobic but the food was very tasty.  I enjoyed a "Tomato Extraction" cold appetizer, a lovely langoustine artichoke veloute soup, a steak and a mochi desert.  Our team is currently quite small but everyone gets along pretty well.

Time will be flying from here on out as we rush to get everything ready before I get truly uncomfortable and less mobile.  If I make it to 37 weeks, the babies will come at the end of December, just after Christmas.  If I don't make it to term (for twins it is 37 weeks), everything is going to get crazy real fast.

My life suddenly feels peppered with doctor's appointments.  With a twin pregnancy, you're pretty much automatically categorized as a high risk pregnancy - increased risk for gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, premature birth... all kinds of issues.  I am straddling the route between the private and the public health systems here in Hong Kong and as a result have appointments what feels like every week.  I love my OB from my first pregnancy but she encouraged me to register with the public health system here, given Queen Mary has a twin specialty clinic, have a NICU and are the only hospital that take babies born before 34 weeks, and will save me a bundle when it comes to sonogram costs as I will be getting scanned quite frequently as I approach my due date.  So far, the public experience has been a bit of a mixed bag.

First, they handle an insane volume of clients very efficiently and quickly.  As a result, they are very brusque.  Second, they are free.  Seriously, I haven't quite figured this out yet, but so far everything I have had done at Tsan Yuk, the prenatal hospital, and the obstetrics department at Queen Mary itself, has come at no cost.  That includes my initial registration, meeting with the nurse and meeting with the midwife, my initial checkup with the GP, my sonogram, and my glucose test.  Third, they are very good.  The doctors and nurses see so many cases and handle so many deliveries that they are experts.  Fourth, I kind of hate it.  As efficient as they are, and as good as they are, I hate feeling like a little lamb being herded through all of the bureaucracy, I absolutely cannot stand the wait times, and I really don't like the way they deliver news.   But, fifth, see number two - free.  I guess I get why people put up with it!

I have neglected to take any baby bump pictures so far but should really try to do that more, as I now am fully in my 19th week. In contrast to my first pregnancy, I frequently lose track of what week of pregnancy I am in and never track those cute baby apps (you know, "What can your baby do now?"  "Is s/he the size of a brussel sprout?").  Similarly, other than being with me for the initial doctor's appointment, Michael has not been with me to any of the visits.   Overall, it's not so much that we don't care or worry about the pregnancy, but rather that there's no time for the cute enjoyment - every day feels like a battle to slog through umpteen things on our collective checklists.

I have also been getting quotes from moving companies in anticipation of our upcoming move.  In the past we always did the packing ourselves and then had the movers come to help transport, but this time around we are going the professional route, with movers that will come in with all packing supplies, take down and re-assemble large furniture, and generally ensure everything is done on time and accurately in the span of six-eight hours.  That seems worth it to me!  Today I made my decision among a few different moving companies (Baltrans, Santa Fe, Asian Express and Asian Tigers) who all came to look at our apartment to provide a preliminary estimate.  I ended up choosing Asian Tigers, and we have a date: September 12.  All of our utilities will be switching, our internet has to be set up on the day, our current apartment has to pass inspection so we get our security deposit back, and our new apartment has to be inspected by us during the handover when we get the keys.

In anticipation of the new place, I have also been scouting for furniture.  Unlike our current place, where large furniture was provided (like a dining table, tv stand, and all the wardrobes), the new place only has built in closets.  Everything else is a blank slate.  We need to buy a tv stand, a dining table, lamps, bedside tables and office furniture.  I find myself on pinterest and design sites, scouting ideas.  I am aiming for a very light and airy, floaty, predominantly-white bedroom, and a modern but natural living room.  What makes the struggle like 100x worse in Hong Kong is that furniture stores are still pretty limited, it's very hard to know where to look to buy furniture, lots of things are sold out or out of stock requiring months of lead time to reorder, and stuff is $$$$ unless you're going for Ikea.  What makes the struggle 10x harder than that is that I'm married to Michael, who has strong opinions about what he wants to buy but can't commit, give me a design idea, or any helpful links but then keeps pestering me to find stuff on Taobao.  All of it is a pain in the ass and I fully expect to be eating off of a cardboard box for the next three months.

Oh yeah, and this past weekend we finally bit the bullet and bought a car!  It's very pretty, a Mercedes V class 8 seater "people mover" that will comfortably fit 3 car seats.  We primarily bought it for the two big skyroofs and the interesting configuration that they have for the seating - two bench seats facing each other.  We find this makes getting in and out of the car so much easier, as you don't have to slide the chairs forwards as you normally do in a van.  It's a silver color with wood paneling and beige leather interior, and has a backup camera (but unfortunately not the 360 degree camera - because... shopping in Hong Kong.  It should be titled "Lessons in Frustration - Paying a Lot and 100% Guaranteed to Get ALMOST What you Want").  When I went to put the deposit down at the dealership on Sunday, I happened to draw the grand prize in their lucky raffle, winning HK$10,000 for services and repairs.  The staff were very excited for me as I was the first one to draw the top prize!  I was thrilled too until I realized the staff was just going to make me use my lucky win to pay for window tinting, which they otherwise would have thrown in for free.  Somehow it felt like less of a win after that.

All of this shopping and purchasing and we haven't even gotten to what I'm planning to buy in anticipation of twins... we will need at least one more crib, if not two.  We need at least one more carrier, if not two, as Lola still really likes hers and still uses it frequently.  I am thinking about buying a Fisher swing.  My friend has offered me to try her mamaroo swing.  We need at least one more infant car seat.  I am waiting to buy a double stroller as I don't think it works well in Hong Kong.  Instead, I have purchased a buggy board to attach to our current YoYo, and expect that if there is ever an infinitesimal chance that an adult is out with all 3 kids in one go, Lola can sit or stand on the board, one baby can be in the stroller, and one more can be in the carrier.  I want to buy a Twin Z pillow.  We need more sleep sacks, more clothes, newborn diapers (hopefully not preemie size, but likely?), baby bottles... we broke nearly all of Lola's glass MAM bottles and I know babies are all different with which bottle they take.

I have also been trying to hire a second helper by meeting with potential candidates on weekends (their days off).  This is a big change and will bring a lot of change to our current household dynamics.  Helper contracts in Hong Kong run for 2 year terms, and Jovie has been with us for nearly 2 years now.  Adding a new helper also introduces a lot of uncertainty, particularly around whether they will get along and be able to work together.  The process is not straightforward, as you have to navigate helpers who have broken their contracts (given notice to their employers), been terminated, or who are finishing their contracts and do not wish to renew.  Because a lot of helpers fear retaliation by their employers, even those who are finishing their contracts and do not wish to renew will not tell their employers until the very last minute.  You also have to figure out their annual leave and trips home.  All of this makes planning and scheduling challenging and delicate.

This time, I plan to do a confinement period again after the twins arrive - but unlike last time, I am hiring a 2-person team that will work in 12-hour shifts (day and night) so that 24 hours are covered.  I plan to have a sit down with them next week to figure out all the scheduling and timing issues, as well as pay a hefty deposit.  Another friend of mine who has twin girls has provided me with the contact of a former hospital maternity nurse who can help with sleep training and, in a pinch, on a temp basis (provided she is available).  As you can see, there is a LOT of staffing and people that I am considering and lining up.  I don't know if all of these people will be more hindrance than help (though I strongly suspect the latter!) so my philosophy now is to staff up and then figure it all out later.  I found the initial months (the fourth trimester) to be the absolute worst in my entire experience of pregnancy, birth and all the milestones thereafter, and while there is nothing that can eliminate that fact I am trying to mentally, emotionally and physically prepare for it in every way possible.

My parents are also solidifying their plans to come to Hong Kong next year, around March and April, to help with the babies after the confinement nannies leave.  Our apartment will be full and bustling for a long while!

Finally, I have joined a mothers of multiples group in Hong Kong which also has a pretty active whatsapp chat group of all the moms whose babies were born or are due in 2019.  So far there are about 20 women in the group, which I find impressive!  This has been a really nice community that has given me some comfort in the past week - there are people who live here who have managed to make this work, who understand all the trials and tribulations of carrying and caring for two, and have lots of expertise to impart.  Honestly, this is the only reason I reactivated my facebook account.

And... that's a wrap.  Verbal diarrhea of everything that's been going on with my life!

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