Happy Birthday Michael! Among Other Things

Michael celebrated his 42nd (42nd!! We old) birthday ten days ago.  

This man, who is a caring and dedicated father, and has been steadfastly soldiering through pretty horrific work conditions (his hours! the unrelenting pace!) for 14+ months as we endure and strive through this difficult, challenging and at times grueling pandemic.  

A pandemic that takes away from us again, as Hong Kong seems poised to enter its fifth wave - a cluster at an expat-heavy and popular gym has wrecked Central, with whole floors of banks going into quarantine and entire law firms shutting in the past weeks.  Vaccine rollout is finally in force in Hong Kong, with both Sinovac vaccines and Pfizer Biontech available now.  They finally opened it up to all people aged 30 and above last week, which will hopefully get things moving.  I logged on last week to register and there were still slots readily available, which goes a bit to show also how the community here is oddly hesitant to take the vaccine.  I feel like the media and policy experts have botched the communication and delivery here big time.  But overall the vaccine take-up is good in the city, and as usual it is a very efficient affair, with a dedicated website, your choice of the vaccine, an online booking and verification system showing all available slots at all vaccination centers throughout the city.  We are opting for the BioNTech vaccine and when you book the first vaccine it automatically comes up with all of the available slots 21 days later, and you have to book both at the same time.  Michael took his first shot this past Thursday, and I'm slated for mine on Tuesday.

We have postponed Michael's fancy French birthday dinner twice now, and it's to my immense regret that I think we are going to cancel our fancy Japanese date night dinner at the Mandarin next week.  Even if Michael and I haven't been out on a date night together in months and we had both so been looking forward to it...

We have read about a couple of playgroups of 12-18 month olds and toddlers being sent into quarantine in government facilities, and shuddered at the horror and logistics, not to mention potential psychological trauma on the parents and kids.  It's not worth the risk.  I've been working from home this past week and it looks like will continue to do so for the rest of March.  At least I have some lovely views in the evening and during the day.  I love our apartment and am so happy we ended up moving here, even though we had no idea at the time that we would end up spending QUITE so much time here.

It's the windows - the glorious windows.  To this day I have not been in a place in Hong Kong that has unobstructed floor to ceiling windows as majestic as these.

Before we went back to working from home, I went to lunch with a few corporate women associates and counsel from my office to celebrate International Women's Day, and in setting up the lunch and promoting this year's theme (#ChoosetoChallenge), I read a really thought-inspiring article about bravery - that it is the persistence and perseverance despite having fear.  I had never given much thought to what it meant to be brave, and it occurs to me that our society may not do enough to encourage bravery (not fearlessness) in enough instances.  The article I read arrested me with the point that fear is not gender-specific; everyone experiences it.  But, likely as a result of cultural norms and social cues, boys tend to be motivated by fear, while girls often feel paralyzed by it. I thought that was fascinating.  I've been thinking about ambition, and how that is often measured by external factors, which means it is so hard to separate from validation and ego.  I've also been thinking about money, and what that really represents, and power, and what that really represents, and contentment, and what that really means, in the course of a life well lived. 

Here I am in my office before things shut again.

Here are some pictures from... oh, all of March really. 

We had a pretty great Saturday morning on the 6th when Lola went to ballet class, followed by a Gruffalo-themed cooking class (that is Gruffalo crumble being made right there) followed by a dim sum brunch with our good friends Liz and Aiden.

We followed that up on the 7th with a pretty awesome trip to the AIA observation wheel, where Lola was super excited to purchase a vanilla ice cream from the softee truck that played the exact same music as her toy truck at home.  Ah, a fresh softee in a cone before you go on a carousel and a ferris wheel by the water - is there anything better?

Lola is brave now and goes by herself.  I sat next to her, while Lyn and Siti sat with Al and Teo in the rocking clamshell chairs.

We waited in line for the ferris wheel, but sadly I was again separated from the boys because due to social distancing measures it was a maximum of four people per car.

We tend to get noticed when we're out - 3 small kids, of which one is a set of identical twins - definitely draws attention in this city.  We are also pretty hard to hide - a large, noisy crowd that takes up a lot of room in this congested city.  Sometimes I'm walking behind or next to these little ones and I marvel at how these are all my children?!  When did that happen...can it be possible?  

We enjoyed it so much that we went again on the 13th.

I mentioned in my previous post that we've started eating dinner together - I'm happy to report that we've finally gotten everyone's schedules synched up more or less that we can do this every night, and it makes me so happy.  The boys are now willing participants (Teo more and more so now that he has also discovered his love for chips) and it's just a really nice time when all of our schedules finally coincide together.  The boys drink their milk, clamor for chips, Lola helps break up the chip pieces and distributes to her brothers, we all have conversation... it's lovely.

Our balcony garden has become a veritable masterpiece, constantly astounding us with its ability to bloom and prosper.  I have never seen a strawberry plant bloom and grow like this before!  And our lemon tree is also going wild.  It's amazing.  The kids love it, especially Al, and it makes me wish that we could have a bigger garden or outdoor space, but c'est la vie.  Our auntie Julie has ten green thumbs.

This led to our first strawberry "harvest," a whopping ten berries!

Sometimes the kids play together really well, and it is just so adorable.  Here, Lola hugging Al (technically from February), Lola and Teo "working"  while giggling conspiratorially on my laptop, and another (very rare!!) one of Al and Teo playing happily side by side.

The Boys Turned 14 Months!

I started this post a week ago and here we are. Blogger is a piece of shit and has been frustrating me to no end.  I'm experiencing incredible slowness, inability to upload pictures, and frankly most nights I just sit and wait for the goddamn blog post to open up.  It was supposed to read, "Al and Teo turn 14 months tomorrow, time flies!" But now it should read "Al and Teo turned 14 months a week ago, time flies!"  

The boys are increasingly engaging and more fun now.  They have such distinct personalities.  Lately Teo has been the grumpy one, and very sensitive and touchy, while Al has been the happy go lucky one, and very eager to join in everything and anything.  Both boys are very curious and love banging cabinet doors open and shut, pressing light switches and doorbells, and rolling anything with wheels.  I know I am their mom so I'm completely biased, but they are so cute.  Sometimes they crawl in the exact same way or turn their heads in unison at exactly the same angle because they've been alerted by the same sound, and I find it very difficult not to laugh out loud.

Al has taken to joining us at the dinner table every night for dinner because he loves chips and bread, and Michael will give him pieces sparingly.  Teo tends to prefer to play by himself or with Auntie Lyn quietly, though lately he happily joins the fray as he also loves chips.  One night we were able to get a supremely rare shot of all of us sitting down for dinner.

And tonight we were able to enjoy, again, just the five of us, and the boys even drank their milk at the table.  It was great.  

Lately Al has been so sweet and affectionate, often crawling to me when he catches sight of me, to give me a hug or to say hello.  I love how he will pat me on both shoulders when I pick him up and hold him close, as if to say, "hello, I've missed you, I'm so happy you're here holding me now".

Both guys love their toothbrushes, but Al really, really loves his toothbrush.

                                                

Meanwhile, Teo's first and true love is Auntie Lyn.  I can't help but feel such a pang and guilt and sadness every time he prefers someone else to me, but at the same time I completely understand that I can't be everyone's first preference.  I am so clearly Lola's favorite and she so dominates my time and attention, but at the same time she arguably needs the reassurance of my attention more, given she is older.  This being one person with only a pair of hands?  It's probably my greatest source of anxiety, stress and frustration.

The kids are all playing together now, and when they manage to do so without biting or crying it is so sweet.  Teo enjoys playing a bit more quietly and independently, which is why he is so exasperated and frustrated whenever his brother comes (and that would be all the time) to find him and intrude on his space.  Unfortunately this has manifested in Teo's habit of biting Al.  Al is sporting a small bruise on his left forearm as I type, as earlier this week Al came to investigate his brother's toy and Teo, pissed off at always being overrun by his stronger brother, really attacked him.  And today Teo leaned in and gave Al a rather vicious little nip also, as Al came over and literally butted him (there is no other way to describe it - it is what I've taken to laughingly refer to as the Al treatment - he comes and pushes his butt into your space and then sits down right on top of you - it's a sign of affection but it annoys the crap out of his sister and brother).  Al is built like a bulldozer and he will just push until others give way and let him join. Oh, my sweet FOMO boy.

More typically, between these two, it's like this, pushing away at each other, or else seated separately and apart.  Michael says they have to learn to play with each other and deal with each other, but then we end up with a lot of pushing, crying, and bruised bite marks.

Al is such a happy go lucky boy - often ruddy cheeked and laughing open mouthed, a little bit wider and heavier than his brother, with a bigger head, and slightly shorter.  He hates eating fruits and vegetables and will complain incessantly in the hopes that we will succumb and let him eat bread or crackers.  Whenever you put anything in Al's hands, he will generally thrust it into his mouth first and foremost.  He particularly loves hard plastic caps (I thought he was going to go to heaven, he was in such ecstasy one morning licking and chewing the cap of the honey jar). He is so curious and now that he has gotten more comfortable crawling and pulling himself up he loves to explore and will often wander the apartment looking for people or spots he loves.  He especially loves his dad's office and his sister's bedroom.  

Al gets a huge kick out of many things, especially noises (an instrument that sounds like a train whistle, and the squeaky door on the play kitchen, never fails to send him into raptures) and his delight is quite fun and infectious.  Generally, he is a little slower to adapt to things and will really kick up a grand fuss if he is unhappy.  Case in point, we abruptly dropped the boys from bottles last week cold turkey to switch to cups and sip bottles, and he went on a hunger strike, crying and crying and just being cranky all day for days.  Al loves to play and some nights he will manage to stay up forever, crying or whining, because he just wants to play.  Once Al gets in a mood, he can be a lot harder to settle than Teo.  Al tends to have a Western palate, preferring things like chicken pot pie, minced beef patties, pasta alla Norma, etc.

Teo is a much quieter and more sensitive boy - he is harder to please or win over, but also so loyal and happy and infectious when he is in a good mood.  He shrieks very loudly when he's happy.  He eats way better than Al (loves all fruits, vegetables and enjoys having his mouth very full), but manages to be skinnier and slightly taller than his brother.  Whenever you put anything near Teo's face (wiping his mouth, putting on lotion or cream) he sticks his tongue out extra long and tries to lick it.  It's adorable.  He is very active, though he can also sit contentedly in his crib for a long time, just playing by himself.  Once you show Teo how to do something a few times, he picks it up very quickly, especially with toys that have flips, switches or knobs, etc.  

Teo can also get really upset and have a bad temper - in fact, when he flares up, he really flares up.  I will never forget the couple of times his entire face turned purplish black as he choked and gagged so hard from crying that he threw up. Terrifying.  But he also tends to get over things pretty quickly.  When we switched them off bottles, within one feed Teo was fine sipping milk from a straw and didn't seem at all fussed.  Teo tends to sleep better than Al, falling asleep with less crying. Even if he is overexcited, he is usually able to entertain himself flopping around his crib or jumping up and down while holding the crib bars.  We joke that Teo tends to have a Chinese palate, preferring stir fries, steamed fish, fried rice or fried noodles, and broth soups.

But, both boys love dessert!  They love strawberries, fresh or freeze dried.  They both love brushing their teeth, pressing our shiny (flashy) large crystal doorbell and elevator button, being out on the balcony looking at our plants and touching the leaves of our strawberry plants and tomato plants, and generally observing the flowers.  They love toys with lights and still enjoy the heck out of bath time.  Both boys seem eager and interested in talking, with Al occasionally making sounds that sound like certain letters of the alphabet, and Teo sometimes saying words that sound like "dog" in Chinese.  Neither boy is walking yet, though I think they are getting close.  Al can stand pretty steadily for long periods of time now unassisted, and both he and Teo can walk pretty well while pushing or holding on to something in front of them.