This is the word that comes to mind when I want to describe how I am feeling currently. Drowning. In work. In Lola's school obligations. In life. Every day feels like a crawl toward survival, trying to keep myself above water, trying to keep feelings of anxiety and frustration at bay.
September started off great until one of my helpers came and gave me 30 days notice that she was leaving. I can't even begin to list out all the ways that this throws a wrench into our plans, our lives, the psyche of our other helpers, everything. During this pandemic when help cannot easily be found, when neither Michael nor I have any family nearby who can help out in a pinch, when schools are on hold, when we are working from home in a suspended period of uncertainty...it has not been good for my mental and emotional health.
I also feel a nearly overwhelming crush of anxiety at the thought of the deal work that is about to hit this month. Ugh.
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