Lounging, Lazing and Liasing with Lola

Time for an update on Lola!  I love alliteration and hence the title of this post, but it's very inaccurate - there is no lounging or lazing with this little one.  I expect it comes as no surprise to you guys that she is as dynamic and observant and funny and difficult as ever.  It's hard to describe how much energy, emotional intelligence, stubbornness and joy are all contained in such a small package.

 Sometimes she is just beyond exasperating - particularly when she wakes up in the morning or after her nap - which is when she tends to be supremely grumpy and whiny.  With a mind that is a steel trap that does not let you forget or skimp over ANY details, she will pester and demand for what she wants, the way she wants it (e.g., the watermelon she bought with you at Marks and Spencer two days ago/the strawberry ice cream she bought with you at ParknShop yesterday/the banana muffins she baked, all of which she wants to eat NOW, and not at the small table or the dining table but on the SOFA and while watching TV or listening to music, etc. etc.) .  Her negotiating tactics are pretty hardcore too - if you offer two minutes, she asks for four; if you offer a little, she screams for a lot.  She can be relentless and distractions really rarely work!

We have been working on her numbers (counting and recognition) and letters, to varying degrees of success.  Sometimes I am almost positive Lola knows and understands the concept but is deliberately messing with us.  As my mom says, however, oh well.  She is only 2 years old!  She still loves books, some of her recent favorites being "The Crocodile Under the Bed," "The Gruffalo," "Where the Wild Things Are," and a few Dr. Seuss books.  She also loves the Chinese "Little Chicken" and "Wild Cat Brigade" series and a few books about a penguin older sister and two younger brothers (very apropos!).  For some of these books, she knows the words and plot so well she knows if you skip a word or a page.  She remains completely reluctant to do arts and crafts or generally get her hands dirty.  She continues to require nearly an hour to fall asleep and cannot do it on her own.  I despair whether she will ever be a good sleeper.  However, she has been an absolute champ at potty training and is now essentially completely potty trained.  She has been sleeping without a diaper at night as well lately, and managing it flawlessly.

When Lola is calm and in a good mood, she is so spirited and fun and her cheer is infectious.  I think she has really enjoyed having me around during the day, and her grandparents here.  One of her favorite activities is to gather "EVERYbody" and play ring around the rosy.  A full house gets her very excited and lately she has wanted to stay at home rather than go out to play, so that she feels part of the mix. Look at this grin! 

My parents have not come over the past two days and today Lola got to talk to them over videochat.  She asked them where they were and if they were coming to see her soon.  When my dad asked her if she missed him, she responded yes and then suggested that when he comes over again she will learn her bo po mo's with him (that is a Chinese pinyin system for helping kids learn how to read).  My dad was so happy.

One morning last week we lined up the dining room chairs and sat in them like an airplane.  Please note that Lola has properly stowed her suitcase under the seat in front of her, and while it may not appear so, our seatbelts have been properly fastened.  We at this point in the flight are just being served our meals - hers, a cake; mine, a basket of fresh vegetables.

She has also been instructing us on when we can walk and when we must stop - directing traffic in the apartment - by informing us when it is a red light.  Here she delighted in holding hands with us and guiding us home through the traffic.  Please note she is also holding what appears to be a purple wand with a bat on top (Halloween costume prop) but is an umbrella because it is raining.
 

Here are some pictures from when we were still going out, albeit carefully keeping our distance from others.  This is a less crowded playground on the Peak.

She loves bubbles at the race course with her friend.

 Huge kudos to my photographer dad who caught these pictures of Lola at lunch the other day, when she was in a great mood and singing a TON, and then laughing along with me to an inside joke.  She really likes company.

 

 

 

I grew up in a household where my parents paid a lot of attention to details and were very specific about how things should be done in a certain way.  It isn't until I've tried to adopt a more laissez faire approach that I realize how much I am a product of my upbringing.  With Lola, I often have to cut myself off from saying something or offering to do something for her (so that it is "done right") so that I do not curtail her adventurous spirit or her independence.  I know my parents were only trying to maximize every chance as a teaching opportunity, but I like the idea of letting her explore on her own a bit, even if it means she gets things wrong or makes a mess.

I also read an article about slow parenting and decided to try harder to play and walk at Lola's pace in order to better encourage her curiosity and enthusiasm.  I noticed how often we adults tell kids to "hurry up" or "come on," and I wanted to try to do it less.  It's very hard to do when I'm working full time or when Lola has activities, but during this period of suspension from real life (at least I hope it is temporary!) I thought I could turn this into an opportunity to try something meaningful.  It also helps me manage my expectations of my time with Lola better.  I don't feel impatient or stressed that it's taking us a long time to do something, because I've already set aside an hour for a very small activity.  I am that someone who is perpetually late to everything because she is WAY too optimistic about how much she can do, so this has been a nice change of scene.

This parenting philosophy has also coincided well with our stepping up our social distancing game in Hong Kong this week. Lola and I spent probably thirty minutes yesterday walking a short hiking path in the misty rain, where I allowed her to hold a large and dirty umbrella on her own (despite my inclination not to allow her to do so) - and I also made sure that we stopped to observe a bug crawling, and to give Lola plenty of time to observe her first snail.  Today, we spent forty minutes today just walking up and down our street.  She picked up a couple of leaves, exclaimed while she watched a boy skateboarding, and walked with me down a large hill.  We sat on a little block at the end of the road where she ate her cashews and sunflower seeds while we chatted and looked at the buildings around us.  We walked back up the hill, she stopped to watch a family playing badminton, and then we had a conversation about a water faucet that she pointed to on the street.  It simultaneously felt like we accomplished nothing and also a lot of things, if that makes sense.  When we returned to the apartment in time for dinner, she beamed beatifically at me and shouted that she "loved her adventure with mommy!"

And finally, a note on gratitude and practicing it by acknowledging it.  These times call for the macro zoom out perspective.  I am so grateful.  Despite everything that has been happening (at first I felt really cooped up and stressed, and there are times when I still do - I will be the first to admit I did not always spend my time efficiently during this leave), I hope to be better about embracing this precious time I have with my parents, Lola, Al and Teo.  Now that I am closer to the end of my maternity leave than the start, I am so, so grateful that our current circumstances are such that we can enjoy this time without immense financial stress, and that we are all (for now at least) healthy.  I am so grateful that in the midst of this brewing storm I have a safe port where I get to cuddle my sweet boys tight, engage in a craft project with my daughter, and read her a good night story.